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Stable is for Horses

Stable is for Horses

Someone called me unstable. A good friend got fired who shouldn't have. WTF was John Cena wearing at the Oscar's? Pair that with Barbie getting snubbed, and this week already feels heavy -- am I right? 

Let me back up. Did a 50-something year old man really call me unstable? It's this week's As If, Sis

Can we all agree to cancel the misogynistic term "unstable" already? Calling a woman that loaded word is a trashy attempt to dismiss and discredit her as an emotional mess. An unhinged psycho who surely can't be taken seriously. 
Here's the tea: a painting of our Lord and Savior Dolly Parton was wrongfully taken from my apartment more than a year ago, and it's recently resurfaced. We'll spill those deets on the actual theft at a later date -- but trust, it's piping hot. Sadly, the suspect isn't.
Turns out, the man in possession of the painting now is someone I've known for 15+ years. Someone I've spent a lot of time with on numerous occasions -- and until recently, someone I would have considered at least a somewhat casual friend or acquaintance. He claims the painting is his. Truth seekers know it's mine. And in arguing about the details, his drunken stupor resorted to calling me unstable. 
Sure, some women probably are unstable. But should we call them that? Absolutely not. 
Let me tell you, being called unstable doesn't feel good to any woman. But to hear it from someone you thought was a friend? It's a total gut punch.
The word "unstable" is rooted in ancient sexist beliefs that we as women are the "hysterical" or "hormonal" sex. It paints us as irrational damsels in distress controlled by our lady cycles or whatever bro slang a bunch of drunk dudes thought of sitting around a campfire one night comparing the sizes of their joysticks...
By branding women as unstable, it's a power move to undermine our thoughts and experiences as unreliable delusions.
Even worse, the term unstable has been notoriously weaponized against women who speak up or challenge the misogynistic status quo. We've been gaslist as "unstable" for everything from defending ourselves against abuse to simply showing righteous anger that makes patriarchal leaders uncomfortable. It's a way to silence and infantilize femininity. 
I'm done letting unstable be code for "inconvenient woman who should just shut up." We're not the unstable ones, the system is. And we're dismantling it by never shutting up and taking up space. 
I stood up to the man who called me unstable -- and he eventually backed down. He owes me an apology -- just like every other man who has ever called a woman unstable. 
If being a loud, proud, uncompromising female makes us "unstable" in the eyes of men, then color us absolutely unhinged. The only thing crazy is how long we've let this sexist label slide. No more apologies for our power or passions -- that unstable energy might just be the fuel that gets shit done. 
Hell on heels? Abso-damn-lutely. But unstable? As If, Sis
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